Monday, 2 April 2007
♥ confinement
the first few weeks was like hell to me... so weak yet have to take care of kammy...
Dearie only took 1 week leave and after that period of time, i have to take care of kammy singly... my grandmother took care of my confinement food and my dad send it over to me... luckily mother-in-law helps bath kammy...
During the day, i was alone with kammy... i realised that the lack of sleep, weakness and pain causes me to get upset easily... i guess that's when the postnatal blues hits me... i keep thinking of all sorts of things and cries over unnecessary issues... things got worst and whenever i sees kammy, i would teared and thought of ending my life...
Somehow i find all sorts of reasons and pushes the blame to dearie... i feel bad about it and was afraid that we might quarrel but the good thing is that he didn't flare at me for all my nonsense...
by chance, i read for a magazine that during the first 2 weeks, it's normal for mothers to experience postnatal blues but it the situation still continues after that, must seek for doctors and it might me depression...
by the end of week 2, i begin to know kammy's habit and routine... everything got a little better... but some time in the night she would woke up very frequently and whine which makes me loses my temper... thus make me think that she's such a fuss...
Doing confinement was really a bad idea but have to respect the elders that's why i would follow... otherwise i wouldn't had to close myself up in the house for 1 month... -__-'' ofcoz there's some cheating during the confinement coz i really can't follow all the "rules".. =X
Kammy is growing each day... her smiles brightens up our days and also there's time her cries angers us too... although sometimes negative thoughts came, she still the one we loves...