Tuesday, 14 August 2012
♥ HJ seems to understand
HJ saw the scene of that night of quarrel, XL too..
XL don't really breathe a word about it but HJ seems to understand and reminded me almost everyday.. Without fail, he will tell me on the most random occasion that "mummy you stay at 外公 house then daddy wouldn't beat you"
Maybe he don't really understand the whole situation but he saw it.. And for the second time.. First episode, he even cry with me..
He is a caring boy at times.. He will ask me "mummy your hand still pain anot"... Just hope that by being frank and open with the kids, they will feel better and they have the rights to know I guess..
Sunday, 5 August 2012
♥ Nothing is right and nothing is wrong
I can't help but to start thinking that all right decision made was actually what I thought was suppose to be right..
Just like I thought the fetching of monsters will be well arranged for.. But it seems like I'm wrong.. I'm like creating more trouble, burden to others..
Like my decision to end it with him and move out, it seems right that I moved out but I somehow causes some disruption to them..
A person whom you thought is close to you are actually turning their back at you.. A person whom you thought will stand by you and help you regardless actually find it a hassle..
It's sad to learn that and I find it hard to accept and to face this person again.. I should start to be more independent and stop thinking that it's everyone obligation to help me..
No one owns me a thing and I dont need anyone to pity me and help me., if you are genuinely and willingly to help, I'm grateful to you... Otherwise, please don't act like a saint to help but to grumble behind.. I never ask for it..
Don't think anyone can feel how it is like.. I seriously can't believe it but I've seen it myself..
Sure enough, this person might not wrong and I'm might not be right either..