Sunday, 29 May 2011
♥ The road to independence
The header of the post is not very true if you consider troubling your love one..
I've been debating on this issue with myself.. For my freedom and happiness or continuing with a life of uncertainty? Both brings a cons and just hope what I choose eventually will be greatly supported by them..
Although they have already accepted it but somehow I can feel that I'm taxing them..
Give me the power to be loved.
- Posted from my iPhone
Monday, 16 May 2011
♥ Once again
Again, my faith of staying shaken.. It's hard to explain our relationship, perhaps we are good to be friends only..
I started to think why I always takes a long time for any proposal.. Maybe is her expectation are too high and I'm always caution in submitting.. Regardless how caution I am, nothing seems to be right.. We are two different creature of different taste, we dont see things the same.. Maybe I'm not moving forward whereas she is; maybe I'm still very persistent in thinking that this might be what she wants whatsoever..
Alot of assumption as I can't tell; can't differentiate.. Maybe I took it too personal when she comment I'm lazy by grabbing files from some source but neither way seems right.. Once again, back to square one with the half day effort gone..
Maybe I'm more of taking instruction based on your judgement.. But like I've hinted once, you are a persistent person and have your own style and way which you wants things to be and once you set your mind on, nothing can change..
It not a totally bad things but sometime indirect stress is added on.. It's hard to explain and it's complicated.. No right or wrong.. Period.
Shaken or not, you tell me..
- Posted from my iPhone
Friday, 13 May 2011
♥ The date of malign
You have always malign me and I guess you doesn't like me.. I might be a thorn in your flesh and nothing but a hermit crab in your eyes..
You always says that you are never wrong on judgement and whatever you say are truth and right.. Don't think so highly of yourself as if you are as mightly as god is..
Why are you always picking me?? I know you have not like me and have been showing bias.. Why are you so worked up when your daughter has receive unfair treatment?? Are you implying that I have no mother that I deserve that from you??
I'm very confused by your "multiple faces" you sometime seems like helping me but you speak as if I own it to you.. If you are not willing to then dont offer.. If you are willing to offer then don't as for repayment..
Please don't treat my children so good and turn around scolding them "bastard child"..
Life is so meaningless and everyday is about putting on a mask.. How I wish my life ends now and start everything afresh.. No matter how hard I tried; how tired I worked, nobody understands.. No one to pour my sorrow; no one I can rely on..
I own my parents an apology for I am a failure and I had never done them proud.. All I can repay now is not to be their burden..
My apology to my kids for bringing them to this world and not given them anything best; not being a best mom.. Thou they have no idea what wrong they have done to deserve a scolding of "bastard child" from someone kin but I'll never forget..
Perhaps it's true that life forces you to become someone you never imagine yourself to be.. They shape you into a monster from the heart.. Bearing the grudges and evil seeds in your heart and days are full of revenge..
I feel Im different.. Something not on the good side.. Why you malign me? Why you pick on me? Why you scold the kids?
I'll always remember your words till the day I die.. You will pay of your words and action and I swear!!
May Buddha be with me..
- Posted from my iPhone